I've been really depressed the past couple days.
At first I was ecstatic because it's getting nice out,
but I just feel like there's something missing.
I feel empty inside.
It's hard to explain.
It literally feels like I'm just a walking shell of a human.
Almost like I'll never feel happy again.
I don't know what I want anymore.
I don't even know what I could possibly do to fill this void.
I feel like everyone secretly hates me.
I'm beginning to like myself less and less.
It almost feels like I'm not really even here.
Like nothing is real.
Just floating along.
I don't know what to do.

Today should be a good day.
It's pretty outside.
These kind of days actually make me like winter.
[But I still wish it was summer.]
I also have the day off.
Go me.

I need to start updating everyday.
I went through and deleted all of my old posts because
I didn't like the content in them.
It was all the same angry shit all the time.
Things have changed.

What's new?
Pfffft.
Nothing really.
I'm not looking forward to work tonight,
but it's a tuesday and snowing.
If people know what's good for them,
they'll stay home in front of the fireplace
sipping hot chocolate.
Or tea.
I'd prefer tea.

Lately I've been having very vivid, strange dreams.
This morning before I woke up,
I had a dream that a gigantic spider was crawling on my face,
and I could actually feel it tickling me, but I couldn't
do anything about it.
I just froze in panic,
and when I woke up it was just my blankie on my face.